Family Values: The Accident of Birth

Desde la monarquía hasta los intocables del sistema de castas de la India, la familia biológica tiene un impacto radical sobre nuestras vidas. Pero ¿qué hace que la familia sea tan importante? ¿La riqueza económica, el amor o la herencia genética? ¿Qué podemos hacer para garantizar una sociedad en la que todos tengamos las mismas oportunidades?

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Sarah Davison

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The Royal Family by John Wonnacott (2000).

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Our achievements and even our aspirations can depend on what we inherit from our parents. But inheritance is a complex concept that can work on many levels. When we talk about inheritance, most of us think of money, but it can also refer to personal attributes, genetic profiles, attitudes, aptitudes and emotional positions. It could be contacts or opportunities in our working and personal life. And then there is social inheritance: what we are passed down from older generations. These can be political and economic climates, as well as environmental contexts. So what is the best way to ensure a fairer society? Could we imagine a world where family ties and inheritance were broken in favour of a more equal world?

CAN’T BUY ME LOVE

Belinda Brown writes for tabloid newspaper The Daily Mail and British political website The Conservative Woman. She is an advocate of the traditional two-parent family and believes that promoting it will make society more equal. 

Belinda Brown (English accent): The family leads to well-being, the family is the most powerful, the most humane and by far the most economical system known for building competence and character. And we see throughout the education system, children with two parents at home do better than children with one. And almost every single measure of disadvantage, from crime, imprisonment, unemployment, drug abuse [and] teenage pregnancy ... correlates persistently with the absence of a father at home. So supporting two-parent families seems an obvious way of encouraging equality. 

TRADITION

Brown says that advantages of wealth and education can be overcome by supporting a traditional family unit. She gives the example of migrant families, who, she says, make up for their disadvantages with strong family ties. 

Belinda Brown: Many migrant groups, despite coming from backgrounds where they’ll have poor English language skills and little cultural or financial capital in this country, perform very well, but they often have very traditional family structures or family values and that can make up for the rest.

EMOTION

Ugandan-born columnist Yasmin Alibhai-Brown came from one such migrant family. She criticises the idealism that informs Brown’s views. Quoting a line from a poem by Philip Larkin, she paints a picture of what life can be like for a child from a traditional migrant family.  

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (mild Ugandan accent): “They fuck you up, your mum and dad…” My mum and dad fucked me up – at least my dad did! I do think there’s this dreadful romance about families… The children are pushed, they are high achievers because you have to be. When you’ve arrived in a new place, education and achievement is your passport. But, have you seen how children are treated in some migrant families? Have you seen the unhappiness that exists? I’m just about to start a project on troubled, young Muslims who are so unhappy. They’re high achievers, they’ve got strong families but actually they are unequal emotionally in terms of well-being. 

OBSTACLES

Victor Adebowale is Chief Executive of Turning Point, a social care enterprise that helps disadvantaged people. The son of a Nigerian single mother, Adebowale believes that the idea that two parents are better than one is old-fashioned. And, he says, despite being high achievers, the children of migrant families face massive obstacles in life. 

Victor Adebowale (English accent):  [The children of] refugee families or asylum seeking families do really well, except when it comes to getting into Oxford, politics, journalism, banking, the NHS or academia. And I’m the product of single parent family, I consider myself strong, intelligent and actually successful. Families come in all shapes and sizes. The prerequisite for bringing up healthy children is love. 

RESOURCES

While Adebowale defends one-parent families, he admits that the life of a single parent can be very difficult. Yet rather than promote the concept of the traditional family unit, he says that single parents should be supported financially and with educational resources, so kids get a better start. 

Victor Adebowale: It seems to me that what we should be doing is ensuring that every kid has a really good education; those kids that need more because of their lack of access to resources, including possibly the education of their parents, are provided with that. I think it’s perfectly possible for that to be made available.

EDUCATION

But what is a good education? Alibhai-Brown sent her kids to a private school, yet regrets this decision as she believes they should make their own way in life. 

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: I sent both kids to private schools. And that was the biggest mistake I made. But I’ve said to them, there’s no inheritance coming from me to you. I don’t want that power – you be what you want to be. I’ll be there for you, but I’m not going to hold you within the family tradition in which I grew up. It was horrible. I don’t think passing wealth to your children does them any favours.

CONTACTS

Adebowale sent his children to a local state school where he and his wife took an active involvement. He says that sending children to private schools isolates them from the community. He believes that parents who do so should be taxed

Victor Adebowale: I’ve spoken to people who send their kids to private schools and they know what they’re buying, it’s not necessarily education – they’re buying networks, they’re buying the privileges. I’m saying they should pay the price for doing it. They should contribute more to the society from which they are withdrawing

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Family Values: The Accident of Birth

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Family Values: The Accident of Birth
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Family Values: The Accident of Birth

Desde la monarquía hasta los intocables del sistema de castas de la India, la familia biológica tiene un impacto radical sobre nuestras vidas. Pero ¿qué hace que la familia sea tan importante? ¿La riqueza económica, el amor o la herencia genética? ¿Qué podemos hacer para garantizar una sociedad en la que todos tengamos las mismas oportunidades?

Alex Phillips